Why Do I Feel This Way

Maybe you blame yourself. Think you deserve it. Maybe you even feel guilty or embarrassed. You’re probably scared. Leaving a life of abuse or reporting a sexual assault isn’t easy. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. We are here to help.

We understand how you feel and we respect your emotions — they are important stages in your transition to a new life. They are part of the healing process.

What you are feeling is normal. There is nothing wrong with you.  Some common feelings associated with being a victim of abuse are:


  • Disbelief
  • Embarrassment
  • Disorientation


  • “No one will understand.”
  • “I can’t live by myself.”
  • “I can’t handle leaving.”
  • “It will go away if I don’t think about it.”
  • “This won’t bother or affect me.”


  • Shame
  • Self-blame
  • “He really didn’t mean to hurt me.”
  • “I could have stopped it.”
  • “I wish I were dead.”
  • “I’ll never feel better again.”
  • “I think I’m going crazy.”
  • “My partner cannot change for the better without my help.”
  • “I still love my partner.”
  • “I don’t want to leave.  I just want the abuse to stop.”
  • “I don’t want to see my partner get into trouble.”
  • “It’s my fault my partner got arrested.  I shouldn’t have called 911.”