Maybe you blame yourself. Think you deserve it. Maybe you even feel guilty or embarrassed. You’re probably scared. Leaving a life of abuse or reporting a sexual assault isn’t easy. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. We are here to help.

We understand how you feel and we respect your emotions — they are important stages in your transition to a new life. They are part of the healing process.

What you are feeling is normal. There is nothing wrong with you. Some common feelings associated with being a victim of abuse are:

Shock/Disorganization

Disbelief
Embarrassment
Disorientation

Denial

"No one will understand."
"I can't live by myself."
"I can't handle leaving."
"It will go away if I don't think about it."
"This won't bother or affect me."

Depression/Guilt

Shame
Self-blame
"He really didn't mean to hurt me."
"I could have stopped it."
"I wish I were dead."
"I'll never feel better again."
"I think I'm going crazy."
"My partner cannot change for the better without my help."
"I still love my partner."
"I don't want to leave. I just want the abuse to stop."
"I don't want to see my partner get into trouble."
"It's my fault my partner got arrested. I shouldn't have called 911."

Your mixed emotions are justified.

But don’t be trapped by confusion, guilt, or self-blame. You are not to blame for your abuser's actions. And you deserve to be treated with respect.

Why do I feel this way?